


Texts and Negotiations

by Onmyliteraturebullshitagain



Series: And They Were Neighbors (oh my god they were neighbors) [11]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And impulse control issues, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Midwest Bi Disaster Zukka, Pet Names, Sokka (Avatar) Has ADHD, Texting, What else is new?, they're both disasters, zukka - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:01:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28759245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onmyliteraturebullshitagain/pseuds/Onmyliteraturebullshitagain
Summary: Told primarily through texts and a phone conversation, Sokka once again proves that he is one of the smartest dumbasses (or the dumbest geniuses) alive.Midwest Bi Disaster Zukka - established relationship, but as long as you know they're neighbors, this can probably be read as a stand-alone if you prefer
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: And They Were Neighbors (oh my god they were neighbors) [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1968508
Comments: 76
Kudos: 338





	Texts and Negotiations

Sokka: _oh zuko light of my life, wonderful dearheart, my sweet beloved boyfriend_

Zuko: _What did you do?_

Sokka: _i take offense at that! i can't shower my beautiful boyfriend with affection just bc i love him??_

Zuko: 🙄

Sokka: _don't you roll your eyes at me my darling turtleduck_

Sokka: _*turtledove_

Sokka: _what the fuck is a turtleduck?_

Sokka: _whatever doesn't matter. still sounds cute and its just lovin my sexy man hours over here_

Zuko: _Really what did you do? B/c Im not naked or having an angst day, which are the only times you start spouting sappy bullshit_

Zuko: _OR if you did something_

Sokka: _SAPPY BULLSHIT_

Sokka: _HOW DARE YOU_

Sokka: _my bullshit is_ ✨ _amazing_ ✨ _and you're lucky to get to experience it_

Sokka: _maybe from now on i'll only refer to you by first name or with professional titles see how you like it_

Sokka: _ooh yes just like that Dr. Zuko_

Zuko: _Ok, if youre really just texting to flirt and argue can we do this later? Swear Ill argue you right into the bedroom tonight if that's what you want (which I know it is because I swear to god you get off on riling me up you freak) but right now Im with uncle. So later?_

Sokka: _yeah so….. i might be texting for more than that actually_

Sokka: _not that i'm ever opposed to flirting/arguing with you but yeah…._

Zuko: 👀 

Sokka: _the smoke alarm was going off in your apartment and one of the cats was doing that screaming puking sound and i got worried_

Zuko: _WHAT_

Sokka: _everything's ok! all good!_

Sokka: _you just might not have a front door right now…_

There came the inevitable phone call, and Sokka sighed and picked up.

"Hey--"

" _What happened to my front door!_ " Zuko demanded immediately, voice a bit loud through the phone. 

"Well hi to you too," Sokka replied.

"Sokka…" Zuko growled, voice overtop of the muffled sounds of the teashop behind him.

"What if your apartment actually had been on fire?" Sokka snapped. "I was saving your cats and all your stuff from a horrible fate!"

" _Was_ it actually on fire?"

Sokka hesitated. "I mean… no."

"So why didn't you call the apartment to get in?" Zuko barked, and this was _not_ the fun and sexy kind of 'getting Zuko riled up' that Sokka enjoyed. 

"I did!" Sokka argued. "I tried! I called and no one answered and the alarm was still going off and the cat was shrieking and I sort of panicked and… uh…"

"Sokka, what did you do _?_ "

"I figured it out!" Sokka yelled back through the phone, irritated with Zuko taking _that_ tone with him. "I--well, it turns out it's not that hard to take the hinges off a door if you're properly motivated…"

"You took the hinges of my door?" Zuko replied, half a shout.

"I… may have," Sokka said, quieter now. 

"Well then put them back on! What are you _doing_?"

"Keeping track of the cats!"

"Shut them in the bedroom!"

"Then they start doing that vomit screaming, possessed-by-the-ghosts-of-evil-Victorian-children noise!"

Sokka could hear Zuko's huff through the phone, exasperated and low, and wondered where exactly he'd located himself within the teashop for this conversation. God, he hoped there wasn’t an audience for this level of insanity via phone call.

"Lock them in the bedroom and let them be evil Victorian children for a bit," Zuko said tiredly, words enunciated and slow and definitely confusing the fuck out of any potential listeners that weren't Sokka, "and put my door back on the frame."

"Yeah… 'bout that," Sokka muttered, "turns out it's a lot easier to get hinges _off_ with some tape and a hammer and a belt buckle than it is putting them back _on_."

Zuko sighed loudly again, and Sokka huffed right back at him. Two could play at the ‘making melodramatic noises at my boyfriend’ game if that was what Zuko wanted.

"Sokka…"

"Zuko…"

"Ok… so what's happening now?" Zuko said finally, and Sokka could picture his face, the way he'd be pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut. "Please tell me you called the apartment again?"

Sokka explained that yes, he had finally gotten a hold of the apartment office and told them what happened, that they'd send a maintenance guy out as soon as they could to fix the door, but for the time being he'd leaned the door up in the frame to mostly keep everything protected. Now he was in Zuko's apartment wrangling the frantic, wild-eyed, excitable cats to keep them from darting out into the hallway and escaping. 

"Oh," Sokka added testily, "and I took your damn smoke alarm off the ceiling and put it in your dresser buried under all your pants and sweaters because it wouldn't stop beeping and I could hear it no matter where I tried to put it and it was driving me fucking _nuts_ and turning the cats into demons."

There was a very long pause over the phone.

"You…" Zuko finally said, "you didn't just take the batteries out?"

Sokka, on Zuko's couch and with a squirming cat pinned under each arm and his phone tucked between his jaw and shoulder, cold air sneaking in around the out-of-place door and the smoke alarm still faintly screeching from the bedroom, had to shut his eyes and count to ten.

"Ok, I'm gonna hang up now," he said and did.

***

Zuko: _Oh Sokka, my beloved, my sweet, my dearest turtleduck (you started it)_

Sokka: _what did I do?_

Zuko: _I cant just shower my wonderful boyfriend with affection cause I love him??_

Sokka: 🤨 _not after everything that happened today you can't_

Zuko: _It ended up fine. The apartments gonna fix it all_

Zuko: _So maybe Im just grateful you cared so much about my apartment and my cats_

Sokka: _… are you?_

Zuko: _I always love and appreciate you dont I?_

Sokka: _… do you?_

Zuko: _Oh Sokka_

Sokka: _Oh Zuko_

Zuko: _Did you by chance eat the leftover mexican I had in the fridge?_

Zuko: _Sokka?_

Zuko: _I can tell youre seeing these texts_

Zuko: _Im not mad. I just wanna make sure I didn't hallucinate those leftovers._

Zuko: _Sokka really sweetheart just respond_ 😋

Sokka: 🤐

Zuko: _Sokka…_

Sokka: _ok i may have eaten your leftovers_

Zuko: _I KNEW IT_

Zuko: _HOW DARE YOU_

Zuko: _LOOKING FORWARD TO THOSE ALL DAY AND YOU STOLE THEM_

Zuko: _YOU ARE DEAD TO ME NOW_

Sokka: _really??? this is what does it? not the door or the break in or the smoke alarm? just the damn MEXICAN FOOD????_

Zuko: _YES_

Sokka: 😥😖😭

Zuko: _Dead to me_

Sokka: [gif of sad dog with giant puppy-dog eyes]

Zuko: _Still dead to me_

Sokka: 😘😏😍🥰

Zuko: _Try again_

Sokka: _Zuko, I won't do it again?_

Zuko: _Getting closer_

Sokka: _Zuko, i'll make it up to you in all the ways I know you really really like?_

Zuko: _Damn right you will you thieving bastard_

Sokka: _be over soon_

Which is how Sokka ended up knocking on a door with no hinges with a large plate of nachos in his hand and an apologetic smile on his face, fully prepared to grovel. One of the cats immediately tried to squirm by as Zuko shoved the door around, face set already in a glare. The glare diminished some once his eyes landed on the nachos, and he shot Sokka a wry sort of look instead.

"My dear, sweet, sexy turtleduck?" Sokka offered, with what he hoped was a winning smile. "I'm here to make amends."

Zuko rolled his eyes and softened further.

"Get in here, you damn disaster," he said with a jerk of his head, and Sokka smiled and skirted the broken-down door to follow him inside.

**Author's Note:**

> Please except this bit of silliness as payment for my sins over on "Syllables of Debris"
> 
> As always, huge thanks for reading, kudos-ing, and commenting!


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